In the minds of many people, marriage counseling is solely for those who believe that they can still repair their relationship. If you know that divorce is inevitable for you and your spouse, counseling might seem unnecessary and even risky. After all, talking about your emotions and the problems with the marriage could make the two of you angrier and make the divorce more difficult.
However, divorce is often easiest and most beneficial when you and your spouse work together in a collaborative process. You can theoretically take control of your divorce and set your own terms for everything from co-parenting the property division in an uncontested filing.
Divorce counseling, instead of marriage counseling, could be the solution you need to resolve the issues you don’t agree on right now.
Divorce counseling focuses on the future, not the past
Whether you and your spouse have grown apart over several years or there has been a catastrophic disruption to the relationship, such as an affair, the chances are good that once you decide to divorce, you don’t want to do an exhaustive post-mortem evaluation of your relationship.
However, talking through major issues with a neutral third-party to facilitate the discussion can make it easier for you to forgive one another and move on. Not only is that process valuable before you file for divorce, but it is of the utmost importance if you will share custody after the divorce.
You can address issues from the past with an eye for setting yourself up for healthier interactions in the future and establishing better communication as co-parents. You can refocus your priorities on the children, address and let go of your feelings about the failed marriage and even talk through issues as they arise during the divorce process.
Emotional support can go a long way
Pushing down your feelings is a sure way to set yourself up for emotional exhaustion or a sudden blow-up after a disagreement. You need to process and let go of those feelings if you hope to have healthy interactions with your ex in the future.
Divorce counseling is one of many options that can help couples pursue a more amicable divorce. Mediation and collaborative law are also options for couples hoping to end their marriage on a positive note.